You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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