But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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