We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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