do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
this will be a night to untag.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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