My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
