On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
