My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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