Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize