Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
