Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
