You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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