you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
