there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
