Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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