I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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