if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
