This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
