Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
