Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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