You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
