We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
