Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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