well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
