This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
