Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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