u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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