i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
