Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
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