WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
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