the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
