I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
whose ass print is on the piano?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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