I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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