Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
