You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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