once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
