my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Sext me about skeletons
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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