P.S. I can't hear my feet
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
