Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
