How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
