is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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