Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
