I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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