what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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