i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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