the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
