if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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