Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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