The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
