My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
