my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
