I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
