seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
