Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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