Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
