well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My butt remains clenched, sir.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
