This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i am craving dick and cupcakes
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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