Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
We just shotgunned beers for America
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
