Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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