we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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