So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
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